A Quest for Qwest (the Last Snow Story)

My land line went out while I was talking to Arwen on the 22nd. I called Qwest on the morning of the 23rd and placed a repair request using my touch pad on my cell phone. They wanted to know if they needed to call ahead (yes, there’s a big dog & I didn’t know when they would be coming – we’d need to make sure he wasn’t in the yard) and if there was an alternative phone # to call (I left my cell number). And they then told me they would get to it “before the 30th of December” (!!!!)

Fortunately, we still had Internet, so let most of the family & friends know. And I had my cell to check with work (the cell phone I never use).

Monday morning, I tried calling Qwest but got put on hold.

Tuesday morning, I got put straight through to some young call center person who spoke too quickly. She said we were scheduled for repair “today between one and one thirty.”

Oh, really? What happened to ‘call me on my cell to make sure the dog is not out’? She had no clue. I explained that the repairman would have to knock on the front door first because my husband was home and we have a dog. Three times, I explained that to her.

“Oh, you’re not at home?”

NO. I am NOT at home, I went to work because Qwest did NOT call and tell me they were coming. But my husband is home sick. Please KNOCK.

I emailed Don and let him know Qwest was coming.

Qwest never showed even though Don did see a truck in the neighborhood. No explanation. No call to my cell.

Today, I called Qwest three times, finally getting through to another call center girl who spoke too rapidly. “Oh, you’re scheduled for January 6.”

What – happened – to – yesterday?

“Didn’t you request a change of repair date?”

Why – would – I???? What – happened – to – yesterday? Can’t you move it up?

Nope, January 6 is the soonest now.

OK. I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT A PHONE SINCE THE 22ND. I EXPECT THAT QWEST WILL REMOVE THE TELEPHONE SERVICE CHARGES FROM MY BILL FOR THE TIME I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT A TELEPHONE. IS THAT CLEAR?

Some hedging, but, yes, it is clear. Now about the dog…?

WELL, IF QWEST SHOWS UP ON THE 6TH, THE DOG WILL BE IN A KENNEL. NO NEED TO KNOCK.

OK. Is there anything else you would like?

NO. I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT A PHONE FOR OVER A WEEK AND YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHY MY REPAIR GOT RESCHEDULED FOR A WEEK FROM NOW AND WHY IT DID NOT HAPPEN YESTERDAY. I AM COMPLETELY WITHOUT WORDS. GOOD BYE.

Almost 45 minutes later, Chrystal called and said, “The phone guy is here.”

Oh, really? How Very Interesting.

“Um, he says he thinks the problem is inside and outside.”

I want to know if he does come into the house to do any repairs. Got that? So call me if he does.

An hour and a half later, she’s ready to miss her bus to go to Elisa’s. “The phone guy just left again. He keeps banging on the side of the house outside, then looking at the wires in the street, then getting in his van and driving around the corner before he comes back. Should I leave?”

Absolutely NOT. I told her I expected her to stay until he declared he was finished & she’d just have to go to her party late.

In the end, the repairman never had to come into the house and she had to take a later bus that was half an hour behind the one she wanted.

I had better not see a phone repair charge on my Qwest bill since he never came into the house. And I better have a week’s phone service knocked off my bill.

But I do have the land line back now. I’ve sifted through 21 messages: three from concerned relatives, three from across the street, two from the City of Oregon City telling us that we just experienced a “disaster of unprecedented size” and “please keep the sidewalks clear of snow”, three from concerned friends, one from the library, several from Don’s work (how sad – he missed being called in to work on Christmas Day) and a 60-second audio clip of Dean Martin singing “White Christmas”. Really. I knew who that one was from: my brother. Funny guy, my bro.